The anticipation of beginning something new like a project, a job and even a relationship is wonderful. The rush of new ideas and plans is energizing. There is so much you can do with a blank slate. However, once you encounter challenges or don't do well discouragement sets in. You feel as though you've failed. The natural impulse when you experience failure is to give up. Failure replays in your head in a way that success doesn't. Feelings of disappointment and discouragement grow like cancer, sucking the joy out of what was going well. Why? because failure can feel so ultimate like nothing good can happen after it. But failure is not final. So long as you have today, it isn't.
In high school, I had an intense basketball coach. I was not the all-star player so as you can imagine we clashed several times. I was even sent to the primary school court to train by myself. I felt like quitting multiple times. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't. Though I wasn't a LeBron James at the end of it, I learned much about pressing on inspite of challenges.
Failure is difficult to face. It's easier to turn to other things when you are challenged. To even numb the feelings of discouragement with drink or binge-watching. Numbing removes feeling, but the feeling is necessary, that's how you know where the infected wound is. Failure can make you burry your head in the sand. You can be so afraid to try again that you run away; but the more you run away the closer you get to that which you are most afraid of, more failure. Ironically, the less you venture out, the greater your risk of failure and the more you risk failure — and actually fail — the greater your chances of success. Avoiding doesn't take away the problem. Yes, the problem is difficult, but fear is worse.
Hurt feelings of failure can be so overriding that they take away the capacity to see clearly. Emotions are very natural reactions and while it’s good to feel them, they are misleading guides. They can make one hypersensitive to even well-meaning criticism that will help you find solutions. An exhausted heart and wounded pride can make you lose all sense of perspective. Instead of saying "I didn't do well here" you say "I'm a failure at this and everything else". Left alone we can blow challenges out of proportion. We need an objective lens to find a solutions.
Let others help you see. Lean on your family, friends and other guides to give you perspective. Take the bold step of telling someone about your failures and asking for help. My mum is one of my biggest helpers and I am eternally grateful to her. I have gained so much from her insight. This article is based on her wise advice. People may not always be able to solve your challenge, but a burden shared is a burden halved. It's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay to need help from others. Let people help you. There is bravery in vulnerability.
The greatest guide is God. Lean on him. He has a bird’s eye view of your life. Let him remind you of who you are and your life's purpose. When all you see is what went wrong let him give you a better view. God is the only way I don't give up. Failure cuts like knives, he heals like a balm. Bring your disappointments to the healer.
You may be dealing with a strained relationship, a tough boss, an unfavourable job market, bad grades in school, or personal closet struggles; I want to encourage you today: don't give up. Take the necessary steps you need to. Have that difficult conversation, get a mentor, and take extra classes. Start right now. "Procrastination is too high a price to pay for fear of failure. To conquer fear, you have to feel the fear and take action anyway. Forget motivation. Just do it. Act your way into feeling, not wait for positive emotions to carry you forward." -John C. Maxwell. Don’t let your emotions control how you react to failure.
Having hope keeps you going. First, hope in God. When we trust and obey him, he will guide us to the right paths. Second, that you'll be better off having tried than just throwing in the towel. It's progress, the gradual improvement, that makes the
difference. Progress is a back-and-forth process. Learning from the past and taking steps forward. “The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.” -Barack Obama
Here are some verses to encourage you. Internalize them. Let God restore your spirit to keep moving forward.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
Psalms 73:26
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20