The story of my life

We’re going to try something a little different on the blog. I want to bring you into my world. When I was 20 years old, I decided to journal the story of my life. A point-by-point guide of how I’ll live the next 10+ years of my life. According to it, by this time next year, I am supposed to be pregnant and setting up my architecture firm. A little too ambitious maybe. I wrote this at a time when life felt very green, I was in my early years of university with few cares. So, without further ado, I give you the story of Mueni’s life.

1. Graduate 4^th year of Architecture school with a 2^nd class upper degree

2. Behold a Zaha Hadid project in my 5^th year of study

3. I graduate 6^th year with a 1^st class honours degree, maybe even valedictorian

4. Work as a trainee lecturer as I await doing my master’s degree

5. I begin my master’s degree in architecture at the University of New South Wales in Australia

6. I find a ‘friend’ in Australia

7. We become more than friends, and through the months, we fall in love

8. Another revolutionary project in my final year of my masters

9. First-class honours and an internship offer

10. My more than friends and I get engaged, and after intentionally dating, we begin courtship

11. I have a solid Christian community around me that guides me through dating and courtship

12.  After my internship, I moved back to Kenya

13. I get married to my more than friends

14. Two years later, I earn my accreditation as an architect after working for a top Kenyan architecture firm

15. I have a child and start my architecture firm, and grow both.

And like a good planner, I had a backup plan in case engagement at 26 didn’t work out (it didn't by the way).

Backup plan:

1. I finish my fourth year of Architecture school

2. Behold the great 360⁰. I apply to go study a master’s in theology at Western Seminary in Portland, USA.

3. I leave for my theology master’s at 22 to start a life that I have no idea where it ends

4. Hopefully, I find an old ‘friend’ or more than friends there

I am happy to report that I didn’t drop out of architecture school at 22 to become a pastor in the US.  Why do I share these life stories?  (other than to embarrass myself for the sake of laughs). I was tempted to write another life story this year. To pen life in an orderly play by play manner. If I had my way, life would run ‘perfectly’. But I don’t know what I really need. None of those life stories happened. In fact, I only checked off half a point in my first life plan (sadly, it wasn’t the moving to Australia one). So, this month, before I could go deep into ‘seeing the future’ again, God had me journal these words instead:

“As I am on my afternoon walk, I realise just how little I know of my life. How little I have control over. How every moment of my life is a miraculous blessing. Who knew I would be living in Spain now? Who knew I would discover more of my life's passion at the Norman Foster Institute? It really baffles me how the life plans I write never come to pass, but the prayers I make do. The moments I script life cause such frustration, but when I surrender, I live free and hopeful.

I know in a few weeks I will forget that God holds my life. Then I pray he will give me another rude awakening. I forget a lot. Lord, please remind me to remember all your deeds. Remind me how strangely beautiful you make my life. All I have sight of is this present moment, and even that I get wrong. What I need is your wisdom to see life in the micro and macro scale. Then I can know how to live today and trust you for tomorrow. You are my greatest companion in Madrid or Kenya. I don't know how to look at life. I get it wrong so often. But you make things good. You weave our lives not just for us but for others to be blessed through us. You weave generations together through our choices. You redeem creation for your glory. You are the centre of life, not us. I forget that a lot. I go about making plans that only benefit me. You make plans for the good of all. I don't know how to build a life like that, making choices for the good of all. Teach me that God. Teach me how to build a life apart from myself. So, as I begin the Autumn season, change me as you change the leaves. Teach me your ways, Lord. I want to walk like you.”

What changed in those 6 years since my first life story? Well, none of what I wrote down came to pass, and I’m glad. At first, I really fought it when point by point didn’t happen; then I looked around to see all the other amazing things that did happen, which I never even asked God for. Looking back, I really didn't know what I needed in life, let alone wanted.

When I penned my first life plan, God may have been in my mind, but everything I wrote assumed I had the control to make it happen. I thought if I can plan it, then I can be it. Such absolute life planning is not only presumptuous it is arrogant according to scripture. John Piper says it this way: "It is arrogant not to believe with your heart and confess with your lips that how long you live and what you accomplish are ultimately in the hands of God. It yields boasting expressed in simple planning minus the truth"

James 4:13-16

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise, you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil.

It matters that in every plan we make, we acknowledge a true view of life. 'If the Lord wills' is a powerful statement. It changes our heart posture to surrender. It matters how we speak, write and vision board our life plans. Without the acknowledgement that our plans are ultimately governed by God's will, not ours, we are boasting about a control we don't even have. This means as you keep making your 5-year plan, work towards it, but hold it loosely. Even better, ask God to reveal his will for your life through the Scripture. As you live every day, your obedience to his word is building a Godly life. How wonderful it is to come alongside our creator and make lives of true meaning.

After all, our time on earth is so short, like a vapour. With the limited time we have, live a life for the eternal God. We must find our life story in God’s story. No life worth having is found apart from it. Then, no matter when your life ends, you will have fulfilled God's plan for you. So I now take my goals and dreams and let them sit safely in God’s hands. That’s the safest place for them. Let God hold the pen to my life’s story.